Sux Racing
Warning: Sux racing is very dangerous and can result in''' death''' or serious injury. I do not encourage or recommend it, nor have I ever participated in it. I do not take blame for any injury or death caused by it. This is a joke article for reading entertainment purposes only and is not meant to actually be done. Succinylcholine racing, or "Sux racing," is a game that may be played by medical students, personnel, or other people with access to succinylcholine, but it is usually only played by stupid people. Participants each receive an injection of succinylcholine intramuscularly, and they must usually run as far as they can before the drug kicks in and they are unable to move any further. Supplies needed: *Succinylcholine - enough for each person - an easy way to do this and save supplies is add together the weights of all participants in kg and simply have a supply of at least 1-4 mg succinylcholine per kilogram in the total weight, or just get one vial of succinylcholine per person. *Syringes (10 mL) - at least 1 per person, and preferably something to sterilize the needle and injection site. *A long hallway or area to run through. *Some form of artificial respiration or ventilation. A bag valve mask is recommended, as well as oxygen. It's also good to have equipment for intubation. *Consent forms (optional) Those are the minimums. With each group of sux racers, there should also be at least one person who does not participate who is certified to safely give injections of succinylcholine as well as someone who can perform artificial respiration. The person performing the artificial respiration should be a very fast runner and be strong enough to carry the equivalent of a dead human body, if needed. Racers should be tested beforehand for malignant hyperthermia and pseudocholinesterase deficiency. They should all be in good condition and should not have muscular dystrophy, myotonia, glaucoma, or any sort of upper motor neuron injury. Racers should also refrain from eating or drinking 6 hours before the race takes place to prevent aspiration when they are ventilated in the end. Note that anyone who has myasthenia gravis should not participate in sux racing. That would be cheating, as people with myasthenia gravis are resistant to succinylcholine. How to play: #Weigh all contestants. Prepare one syringe of succinylcholine per racer. Dosages can be from 1-4mg/kg. Higher dosages will produce quicker effects that last longer. If you really want to, you can just skip weighing and get 200mg for everyone, but for a more fair race, doing dosages by weight is best. Have the bag valve mask set up with oxygen, checked, and ready to go. #Select a starting point, where the racers will receive their injections. Line each racer up one at a time by this starting point. The person who will give the injections should be set up here. The person giving the artificial respiration should either start here to run alongside the racer until the racer collapses or be stationed at a point further along the track if he's not a fast runner (the best point for this can be determined after a few test runs). #Begin deciding who will go first. After the people who chicken out before even starting leave, make sure everyone is ready to go. #Now the fun begins. The person giving the SCh should now inject it into the first racer, either through the thigh, buttock, or deltoid. It should be the same place for each racer. As soon as it's done being injected and the person injecting pulls the needle out, that person will say go. There are now two ways to play at this point. The dangerous way: The racer must now run as far as he or she can down the course before the drug kick in. The person giving artificial respiration should either run with the racer or be ahead of him or her. When the racer collapses, the person giving respiration should put a mark at the end where the part of the racers body is furthest back and give the racer artificial respiration until he or she can breathe on his or her own. Do this for each racer, and whoever runs the furthest wins. The safer way: Set a predetermined "finish line" with facilities for artificial respiration right there. It should be about the distance away that someone can run in 30 seconds to a minute, but again, the best distance can be determined through a few test runs. Time each racer, and whoever makes it to the finish line fastest wins. If a racer doesn't make it to the finish, he or she is disqualified. If you are seeing that nobody is making it to the finish, change the location of the finish line. Racers can then stop after they reach the finish so the person giving artificial respiration can just wait and be right there to help the racer. Fun variations on sux racing: The sux obstacle course A safer way of sux racing - the sux "stand off." Instead of running as soon as they are injected, players simply have to remain standing as long as possible, and whoever can stay standing longest wins. A more dangerous way of sux racing - the sux swimming marathon. Inject sux. Jump into one end of pool. Try to make it to other end before drug kicks in. If you lose you die. Seriously, don't do this. The only reason I mention this is because of a demented dream I had where they were forcing kids to do this and whoever didn't make it to the other end just drowned. I also made up another game that will not get its own page, but it's another thing only stupid people who want to die should play. DO NOT DO THIS. It's called "sux roulette." Get a bunch of syringes, the same number of syringes as the number of players. Fill all but one with saline, and fill the last one with succinylcholine. Do not put labels on the syringes and mix all of them around. Hand each player a syringe. Everyone injects themselves at once, and in about a minute, you'll know who lost. (If you have any random unused or unlabeled syringes at the end, dispose of them so they aren't used later by mistake.)